Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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