you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
