You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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