..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize