Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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