Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
