DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
