he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I want a musical about memes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
