Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My Higher Power is John Stamos
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
