he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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