Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
