Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize