And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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