You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
