I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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