I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
