I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
