they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
