I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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