my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
