craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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