brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize