I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
