Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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