...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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