I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think my moral compass just broke
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
