he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
