I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
