I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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