Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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