I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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