plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
