when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
