so let's talk penis.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
