In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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