Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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