i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
