My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize