Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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