Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize