i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
