No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
