In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
