If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
