Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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