i can't believe i had my finger in that
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
