It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize