i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
