Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize