im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
