I hate your face
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
