i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
