does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
