Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
