The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
