a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
