Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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