You made me cry and you don't even care
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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