she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
