ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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