So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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