Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
