I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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