he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
