it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
