Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
