i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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