In the future we'll all be gay
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
