he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
