my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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