I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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