She's JV to your varsity
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
