You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
